Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Working with... and embracing my worst enemy: myself

As I get older, I am getting to know myself better and am starting to see patterns in what and how I do things in life... and who I am as a person.

When it comes to my work..., I am workaholic, obsessive compulsive and perfectionist kind.

Here I said it.

The attribute described above is my strength and weakness... I have always been this way and that probably was one of the reasons why I left 9-5 job. It runs in my family... I love "work"; thus, it inhales me. And I knew I needed to create a place where "work" could inhale me without leaving me completely drained... instead inspired.

It's my strength because I get stuff done. It's my weakness because I don't see anything else in sight when I get zoned in... to the point I forget to eat, sleep and do other things to take care of myself. It was border line okay when I was on my own but this extreme attitude can be challenging to bring home where I am actually responsible for more than myself.

I have gotten better working with my little demon but it still peeks out when I get under pressure. We are hosting our very first workshop on this Sunday and it has been so much fun preparing for the event. I love it... so much that I can feel my heart itch for wanting to spend infinite amount of time getting it perfect even at 3am.

Of course... it's not realistic for me to stay up at 3am working on projects when I know that I need to take care of our girls next day. Sleep deprived, tired person does not make a good mother...

So I am working with it. Embracing my little demon who is obsessive compulsive and perfectionist. I let her loose when I am at our studio/shop and I try my best to leave her there when I head home. It's not 100% figured out but I am aware of it and I am working with it.

One day at a time.


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